Taxi Driver and Dog Sitter

Those are my jobs for the summer, driving teenage daughter around and throwing the ball to the dog.  God I live an exciting life.  I am so sick of asking the same questions, "why are we here, why do we stay?"  I drive through the neighborhood that we have lived in for the past 2 1/2 years and realize we only know a handful of people.  I cannot spend my whole summer like this, I will go out of my mind.  I think about how different my life would be if we still lived in Louisville, hanging with friends every single day, always having someone to talk to, going to Fiesta Time on Sunday nights with the neighbors, etc.  Those were the days!  I need to find my place here, my "reason" and I need to do it fast.  How do I get over these feelings?  Will selling the house and moving to a different one help?  I doubt it.  As long as we live in PA it will always be like this.  What happened to my life?  I realize that when you have kids your life is not your own and I wouldn't change that for the world.  But...there has to be more than this because I cannot do "this" anymore.

Seems Like Old Times

Wednesday we celebrated 15 years of marriage!  He didn't even get me a card, but that is a whole other blog post.  We met our old neighbors from Louisville AKA "the greatest people ever" in Virginia.   We had dinner together and we commented on how we hadn't seen them since November but we are able to pick right back up like we see each other every day.  That is how it is with them and I miss it so much.  We went to DC the next day and went to Georgetown Cupcake, the cupcakes were ok.  We separated from the men and went shopping and back to our house.  The kids wanted to do Hershey Park on Friday but we compromised and did Chocolate World instead.  First we had lunch, I had one margarita that hit me like I had ten.  We talked and laughed and had such a great day.  They left on Saturday morning, it was so hard to say good-bye.  The kids are all growing up so fast but I hope they remain friends forever.  I love them like they were my own family and I know that will never change.  Can't wait to see them again...

I need the manual...

Last night my girl graduated from 8th grade.  Not sure where the years have gone, she was in 5th grade when we moved here.  I was a nervous wreck on the way to the ceremony and I'm not sure why.  Was it because she is growing up so fast?  Was it because she is going to be a freshmen in high school?  Or was it because I feel like I am losing her?  I choose the latter.  She loves to hang out with her friends and have sleepovers, she is so unlike me.  I was too afraid to even sleep at my friend's house that lived right.next.door to me.  What a baby!  I wish there was a manual on how to raise a teenager.  I am not sure how much freedom to give her, I stress about everything.  I really miss having her with us but I guess this is just the beginning.  My biggest fear is that she is trying to grow up too fast and she will miss the fun a teenager should be having.  Good, clean fun, that is.

Please Let It Get Better

I have wanted to start a blog for a long time and today I finally got the courage to do it.  I needed a place to get my feelings out other than Facebook where everyone will think I am a lunatic!  We have lived in Pennsylvania for over 3 years now and I still struggle everyday.  Let me back up a bit and tell the whole story.  We moved here from Louisville, KY where we lived for 5 years.  It was the greatest experience of my life.  I was born and raised in a small town in upstate NY.  I met my husband in college, we got married and started a family.  He got a job with a local company and we lived surrounded by our family and friends.  Our world changed in 2003 when he was offered a position in Louisville.  Nobody thought we would move because we just moved into our dream home and I had never lived anywhere else.  We took a leap of faith and moved 700+ miles away from everything I knew.  It was scary!!  I can't even put into words how awesome the people were, they welcomed us with open arms and became our family.  My oldest daughter was 5 at the time and the youngest was not even 2.  Number 1 girl (that's what I will call her for now)  made friends very quickly and Number 2 girl was too young to understand.  Our world changed again in 2008 when my husband was offered a position at the company headquarters in PA.  We thought long and hard, it would be closer to family and at least he would still have a job.  We moved back to the Northeast in April.  To say it has been hard is an understatement.  There is a lot to be said about "southern hospitality."  The people in PA are very "to themselves,"  unapproachable.  I have tried so hard to fit in here, I have made some incredible friends.  I just can't help but think we made the biggest mistake of our lives by moving here.  Can you go back?